Like A Date
by Renshuusei01
Summary: Bishamon signs up to a dating site. For buntaichouunicorn at tumblr.


"What are you doing, Kazuma?"

Kazuma turned to glance at the curious goddess who had been watching him tap away on his phone for quite a while.

"I am on the internet Veena. Yato has an account on this one dating site. He wanted me to go over his profile and help him rewrite his bio since mine was better than his."

"Dating site?"

The woman tilted her head to the side thoughtfully and Kazuma showed the main page to her from his phone.

"It's where you write about yourself to make friends or meet potential lovers. The site takes the information that you put on your bio and compares it to the other users' then it recommends you some people whose interests and age match yours. There are also some mini games that you can play and public chatrooms to get to talk with more people. You either create an account and wait for someone to see you in their recommendations and send a friendship request or you can join a public chatroom or game and invite someone to private chat if they picque your interest."

Bishamon frowned, not really understanding the goal or necessity of something this dumb and Kazuma smiled affectionately at the confused expression.

"Veena, it's nothing serious. This kind of sites exist to help people improve their social skills and understanding of the opposite sex. It is just a fun way to spend time and gain some self confidence maybe."

"And do you also have an account because of that?"

"Well, it has nothing to do with that. Yato created my account secretly a while ago as a joke since he finds it endlessly entertaining to tease me. But the bio that he wrote for me was trash so I went and edited it and there were over one hundred friendship and chat requests within three days. I never used the account after that. It was just to make Yato's little prank backfire."

She bit her lower lip and considered the shinki's words for a few seconds as Kazuma started to tap again still smiling faintly at his own story.

"Kazuma."

"Yes Veena?"

"I want an account too."

At that Kazuma stopped typing and faced her again with a look of surprise.

"Why? I mean, what are you going to do on a dating site?"

"Didn't you say that it helps to improve social skills? I certainly need to get better at communication. Besides if even that magatsukami has an account then I want one too."

"Veena, you could just go outside and I don't know, play with the younger shinki, have a chat with Kuraha or take Aiha, Tsuguha and Kinuha out for shopping maybe. It would help like ten times more than a website. Also you do realise that this isn't a competition, right? Yato only uses the site to seek customers and believers of which you have millions already."

She rolled her eyes and frowned. It really felt like she was a teen and Kazuma, the stern parent when he ranted and scolded her like that. She was a GODDESS.

"I know that already Kazuma. But I want an account nonetheless."

She answered replacing the 'Veena attitude' with the 'Bishamonten Voice'...

"Well if you insist."

...And as always it got her what she wanted.

o

"YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHİNG-PİLE-OF-TRASH! PUT THAT PHONE DOWN AND HELP ME AIR OUT THE FUTONS NOW!"

"Yuuu-ki-nee~ Be more respectful to your god! Deities don't do house chores. Besides I have important god work!"

The furious teen stomped closer and Yato got himself ready to sprint off and run if necessary.

"No you don't you unwanted extra part that comes with the tracksuit! You are just texting Kazuma-san!"

He WAS texting Kazuma. But it was for work purposes. How was he to gain followers if his social media accounts weren't managed properly?

Yukine turned towards him and Yato scrambled on his feet and ran out of the house in one swift motion. When he was finally alone and safe from a furious shinki armed with a baseball bat, he checked his profile again.

Kazuma had done a fairly good job. There were twelve friendship requests and twenty three invitations to either private or group chats. And it had only been an hour. Out of boredom, he scrolled down to the recommended users page, something he hadn't done in a while. It usually showed the same people unless he refused someone for good or added them as a friend anyway.

As he guessed, it was filled with people he had already seen and was too lazy to hit the remove button near the profile photos until the end of the page. There he could see someone new. The green leaf on the description tags said that they joined recently. Just because he didn't have anything better to kill time with, he read through the whole thing.

' VeetheBee 🌱

Gender: Female ️

Age: 26

Occupation: Social worker

Appearance: Long blonde hair, thin, average height

Likes:

-Going to walks.

-Swimming.

-High quality beverages.

-Pastries.

-Hot springs.

-Poetry.

-Indian dishes.

-Children

-Travelling

Dislikes:

-People with self proclaimed titles, questionable habits and lack of manners.

Description:

Didn't have any long term relationships before. Doesn't have high career goals. Wishes to found a family later in life.'

"Wow… Serious woman, aren't you?"

Except for that title.

Must be one of the default given names.

Yato scrolled through the whole page briefly and hesitated for a few seconds before sending an invitation to chat.

A social worker would surely be busy and might be a repeat customer in the future if he played his cards right and managed to make her know and respect him after all.

With that done, Yato slowly walked back home silently calculating the chances of Yukine having already finished the chores.

o

'Chat request

From: ||Y_Sama||

Accept

Deny'

Bishamon mentally debated wheter to accept for a few seconds. Only an hour, and she already had someone wanting to talk to her. She probably had to check the man's profile but she didn't know how to do that stuff yet and Kazuma always told her to be wary of strangers. But…

She inhaled and hit the green button. This was her first try on this kind of thing yes, but she wasn't an idiot nor was she weak. Besides, there was no real danger in anything. She was a goddess, literally.

Having made her mind, she typed out a greeting and in ten minutes, he answered.

VeetheBee: Hi.

||Y_Sama||: hello (:D) how r u?

VeetheBee: I feel fine . What about you?

||Y_Sama||: gr8. u joined recently?

VeetheBee: Just today actually. Hope it's no problem.

||Y_Sama||: nope. the site's cool by the way. try the public chat rooms.

VeetheBee: Thank you. I shall check those out some time.

o

||Y_Sama||: hey!

||Y_Sama||: what's

||Y_Sama||: ur fave drink?

VeetheBee: Domaine Leflaive.

||Y_Sama||: and here I am living off supermarket beer 😁

VeetheBee: 😃 that certainly has a taste too.

o

VeetheBee: It says 'artist' on your bio. Do you only paint or other things too?

||Y_Sama||: nothing much. some painting, a few sculptures

||Y_Sama||: maybe manga and portraits on order

||Y_Sama||: tried music too but didn't get too popular.

VeetheBee: :o That's actually a lot. 😮 I'm impressed. 👏

||Y_Sama||: tnx 😃

o

VeetheBee: Why Y-sama?

||Y_Sama||: my name starts with y

||Y_Sama||: besides

||Y_Sama||: im a god

||Y_Sama||: 😉😜

VeetheBee: 😒

||Y_Sama||: y a bee?

VeetheBee: The site's bot chose that. I'm not good at coming up with pseudonyms.

||Y_Sama||: guessed as much

||Y_Sama||: it's cute

o

VeetheBee: If you are a god, then I am Bishamonten 😋

||Y_Sama||: no ur not

||Y_Sama||: u r 2 sweet 2 be her

||Y_Sama||: u r a bee

o

||Y_Sama||: hey 🐝

VeetheBee: Hi.

VeetheBee: Did you just-

||Y_Sama||: yea

||Y_Sama||: whatever

||Y_Sama||: what u up 2 now?

VeetheBee: Paperwork. You?

||Y_Sama||: 😦😴 boring

||Y_Sama||: Im doing graffiti

VeetheBee: 😮😃 That's awesome.

o

||Y_Sama||: 🐝

||Y_Sama||: hey 🐝

||Y_Sama||: 🐝🐝🐝

||Y_Sama||: gonna keep it up till u say smt

||Y_Sama||:🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝

||Y_Sama||: 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝

||Y_Sama||: 🐝🐝🐝🐝

||Y_Sama||: 🐝🐝🐝

||Y_Sama||: 🐝🐝

||Y_Sama||: 🐝

VeetheBee: I was in the shower.

||Y_Sama||: sorry 😅

o

VeetheBee: Good morning. ️

||Y_Sama||: morning

It had already been two weeks since she had joined the site when Kazuma started telling her to stop using it.

You can't trust people you meet on the internet. You never know who they really are. This applies to your new friend too Veena.

She shook her head as Kazuma threw her another one of his 'look's and got up to go into her bedroom. It was the only place Kazuma didn't enter without asking for permission first so she could be alone there.

Her phone buzzed in her hand and she unlocked the screen after laying on the bed.

||Y_Sama||: a flower 🌸

for a🐝

pay me with a smile

VeetheBee: 😊

VeetheBee: Are you sure you aren't seeing someone? It is impossible for you to be alone with that charm.

||Y_Sama||: and what if I am just ugly?

VeetheBee: You aren't. You look like a disney prince.

||Y_Sama||: you haven't even seen me.

VeetheBee: I can imagine.

||Y_Sama||: and what should I imagine? what do you look like?

VeetheBee: Rapunzel from the Tangled.

||Y_Sama||: spending a lot of time with kids huh? I guess it's expected of a social worker.

VeetheBee: I like children.

||Y_Sama||: do you have a lizard too rapunzel?

VeetheBee: 😏 I have a lion. It flies.

||Y_Sama||: and I am a god who fights off evil spirits 😂😁

VeetheBee: If only you were 😜

o

||Y_Sama||: I have a son he is 14.

VeetheBee: Really? You had him at 20?

||Y_Sama||: yes. the age gap still isn't bothering?

VeetheBee: Not at all. A mere 8 years is nothing.

||Y_Sama||: rapunzel in 20s doesn't care if I am over 30? did someone lie about their age? 😈

VeetheBee: Maybe. 😳😇

||Y_Sama||: 😂 don't like little girls anyway.

VeetheBee: Good to hear.

o

VeetheBee: I enjoy poetry. Do you write anything like that? Since you are talented at everything…

||Y_Sama||: roses are red

violets are blue

if u were a Pokémon

I would choose u

VeetheBee: Now that's what one calls poetic. 😁

VeetheBee: Should I take that as a compliment?

VeetheBee: Or is it a compliment for Pokémon since you capitalize that out of all?

||Y_Sama||: no

||Y_Sama||: that's 4 u

||Y_Sama||: 🐝

VeetheBee: Thanks ❤️

o

||Y_Sama||: 🐝

||Y_Sama||: wanna meet?

||Y_Sama||: like

||Y_Sama||: face 2 face?

VeetheBee: Okay.

||Y_Sama||: dinner?

||Y_Sama||: I know a place. Olive Ken.

VeetheBee: 8 tomorrow?

||Y_Sama||: c u there 🙂

o

"Veena are you sure about this?"

"Yes Kazuma."

Bishamon replied as she put more blush over her cheeks. The shinki sighed and exited the room shaking his head after telling her to come back before midnight.

o

"YATO! WHERE THE H- Woah...what's that attire for?"

"I'm going out~"

Yato said as he fixed the collar of the black shirt he wore. It was pretty casual with the rolled up sleeves and matched with a pair of black jeans but it was suitable for a place like Olive Ken.

He grabbed his wallet and phone with one hand before going out the door as Yukine turned away to go back to his textbooks.

o

Bishamon found the Olive Ken easily with the GPS application then sat down on a stool without calling for the old woman behind the counter.

She was surprised enough to blink at the human stupidly for two seconds when she was noticed and served without her needing to do anything. Ten or fifteen minutes passed like that, with her sipping a cup of tea that the small restaurant gave for free. She wondered if the human she was waiting for would be able to see her.

The glass door opened, letting the evening wind inside as she picked up her phone to check the hour. She raised her head to see the newcomer and they both froze for a second.

Yato stopped on his way inside noticing Bishamon just a few meters in front of him. Then he slowly walked inside.

"What are you doing here Yatogami?"

"Me? What are YOU doing here, you psycho?"

The old woman saw him too and looked back over her shoulder at the raised voices so he walked closer and lowered his voice.

"Look skank, Ebisu told me about this place and I invited a friend over tonight so don't make trouble."

He sat two stools away from her and ordered a light drink.

"Well, I also invited a friend here so you shut up and mind your own bussiness you bastard."

She turned her gaze back down to her phone concluding the conversation with that. He started sipping his sake and looking around at the room. The other customers, the woman, the few young waiters, the carvings of the seven lucky gods then her eventhough he tried to keep his eyes off her.

"Wearing a dress like that at a family restaurant? You sure you weren't going to meet with your 'friend' at a bar or something?"

"What part of 'mind your own businesses' did you not understand you idiot?"

She flipped her hair back with a sharp motion and glared at him.

"Besides you are hardly the one to talk, you look like an angsty teen in that."

"Well at least I don't look ten years older."

"Why you-"

She slammed her fist on the counter then pulled back composing herself when the woman once again looked back. They once again fell into a silence.

Bishamon checked her phone once again. It was nearly half past eight. He was looking around again. She got up on her feet for a trip to the ladies' room.

Once inside, she fixed her make up a little and texted him.

VeetheBee: I am at Olive Ken. Where are you?

VeetheBee: I hope there isn't a problem.

She returned to her seat, stealing a glance from him while she walked. He was still alone too.

||Y_Sama||: I am also here. Where are you sitting?

VeetheBee: On the stools in front of the counter. I am the only blonde here.

Yato's eyes widened as he read the message again and again and looked at the goddess.

There wasn't anyone else at the stools.

"No way! Just no! No. You are her!"

"What are you talking about Yatogami? Stop making noise. You are going to get me thrown out as well!"

"You are- you are her! You are Bee!"

"What? How do yo- oh."

They both watched each other's face with mirroring expressions of surprise for nearly a minute.

"That…explains the flying lion. And the long blonde hair, the social worker thing too."

She squeezed her phone in her hand, shaking her head.

"That damn bot must be broken. Why did it match us in the first place?"

Then remembering, she directed her accusing eyes at him again.

"Wait…you flirted with me you pervert!"

"To my defense, that was a dating site you bitch! Not that you would be my first choice in a good day. Besides you didn't play low yourself. Disney prince, huh?"

"You asked me out on a date!"

"And you came!"

Getting up on her feet, she went over to him, and slapped him

"And you insulted me! Too sweet to be her, huh?"

"Well you acted! You cougar, playing the young, pretty girl to get your hands on poor younger men!"

He got up on his feet and she puched him as soon as he got a hold of her collar.

o

Fifteen minutes later, they were both outside in the chilly night, having been asked to leave in the middle of their fight.

They walked side by side quietly until he threw his jacket at her face when she tried wrapping herself with the thin shawl she had.

She asked why he chose that specific place and he told her about Ebisu, not leaving anything out. She told him about the ha and ma clans. He talked about the sorcerer.

In the end, they found themselves on a park bench with beer cans from a nearby 24 hours open market, chatting. And just when she got up to go home, he called out to her.

"I do think you are too sweet to be Bishamonten…Just be Bee sometimes."

She walked fast, leaving him and wondering how a single can of cheap beer could make her feel so hot.

VeetheBee: And you are too good to be a magatsukami.

VeetheBee: Tell anyone about this night and you are dead as dust. Clear?

||Y_Sama||: crystal

||Y_Sama||: hey…talking was good

||Y_Sama||: wanna do it again someday? with more drinks

VeetheBee: Yes.


End file.
